mother, may i.

the empire state building stands, trembling in front of us. it looks like it should buckle under all the weight. all that pressure pushing straight down, straight into the ground. a shockwave that would ripple out towards us. kill us all. special effects gone all haywire and artificial intelligence.

me, my mother, and my brother arthur. this is our first time in new york city. before it was really new york. when it was still...becoming new york. traveling with the carnival provided us some great luxuries and visiting the city was one of them.

with our hands cupped inside our mother's palm, she guided us towards the building and into the elevator. all that pressure pushing down and we're still going up. to the top of building. more pressure.

and on the roof none of us are really impressed. it's pretty. high. you can see a lot of stuff. i guess it's supposed to make you take in scope, and range, and the vastness of being. so many humans everywhere. rotting the place.

our little secret? our little myth? we're, all of us, just taking up space.

and after this, hand still cupped inside my mother's, i can still feel her warmth. she looks down at me and smiles. that smile where you know everything in her life is wrong. that she hates every single part of it. that she hates you.

today is the last day arthur and i see her. this is before the shockwave that caused me to live forever. that blinding, piercing white light. the headache that seemed to follow for centuries.

you know, sometimes i wish the empire state building had just fallen over.